Boy Run
by Iscreamer1
Summary: In response to Jaden Smith's anti-education rants, I thought I could create a derogatory portrayal of school life with cast of Lord of the Flies in the plot of Chicken Run.


Cooped up like a prisoner inside Lady Fairgood's Boarding School, a 12 year old lad named Ralph dreams of the impossible: wide open spaces, grass beneath his feet and a chance to do more than meet the daily school quota. Join Ralph and his fellow friends in their quest for freedom.

Ralph: "Order! Order! Quiet everyone! Now, I know our last escape attempt was a bit of a fiasco, but Piggy and I have come up with a brand new plan."

As night falls, Ralph makes his latest daring escape attempt. He dashes across the school courtyard to the high wooden fence, whips out a shovel and starts digging. When the hole is big enough, he crawls under the fence. At his signal, five other boys step out from the shadows. Jack Merridew, the oldest boy of them all, climbs into the hole. The boys are almost home free. But Jack gest stuck!

Jack: "I'm stuck!"

Ralph: "Get back!"

As the boys push and pull at Jack, the headmaster Mr. Henry , catches Ralph outside the fence. Before he can get away, he scoops him up and dumps him into a derelict shower stall for a night of solitary confinement. Ralph is released just in time for morning roll call. Mr. Henry boots him into the courtyard, where's he greeted by the silly but innocent Simon.

Simon: "Morning, Ralph, back from holiday?"

Ralph: "I wasn't on holiday, Simon, I was in solitary confinement."

Simon: "Oh, It's nice to get a little time to yourself, isn't it?"

Roger, the school's resident choir boy, calls the other boys to attention. As soon as they are assembled, Mr. Henry and his employer, the elderly Miss Higgensbottom begin the daily grade count. But one boy, Wilfred, hasn't made any A's for three days straight! Ralph and the other boys look on helplessly as Wilfred is taken away by Mr. Henry.

Simon: "Oh…is Wilfred off on holiday?"

Now Ralph is more determined than ever to escape. That night, he calls a secret meeting of the escape committee to discuss new plans. At the escape committee meeting, Ralph and Piggy – chief engineer and Ralph's right-hand man—demonstrate the latest plan with the help of a conch. They'll build a catapult and go over the fence.

Piggy: "We tried going under the wood and that didn't work, so the plan is: we go over it. This is our right men, put it in like this, wind it up and, way to go!"

The room fills with nervous chatter as the conch smashes against the wall.

Roger: "Good grief! The conch has bought it!"

This is the craziest plan yet! Maybe they should just accept their lot in life.

Jack: "Oh, face the facts, dopes, we're English, not savages. The chances of us getting out of here are a million to one."

Ralph: "Then there is still a chance."

Ralph tries to rally them, but he fears he'll never be able to lead his innocent little friends to freedom. What he needs now is a miracle. Discouraged, Ralph leaves the dormitory. Suddenly, he hears a shout. He looks up to see a girl flying through the air. She crash-lands in the courtyard and a piece of a poster advertising "Eliza Thornberry, the Flying Girl" floats down after her. Ralph's heart soars as he gazes at the poster. He hatched a new plan. The boys rush Eliza inside and bandage her sprained arm as Ralph explains his idea.

Ralph: "This is our way out of here?"

Simon: "We'll make posters?"

Ralph: What's on the poster, Simon? What's ON the poster? We'll fly out!"

Eliza will teach them to fly. But Eliza's plans don't involve sticking around a boy's school.

Eliza: "You see, I am a traveler by nature, so is the rest of my family. I gave the whole normal life years ago, I couldn't really get into it, hey how are you doing? No, the weary road is my style. Just give me a pat on my back and point me where the wind blows."

Eliza is about to leave when a Winnebago shows up. She's on the run from a couple of poachers!

Ralph: "I should turn you in right now."

Eliza: "You wouldn't, would you?"

Ralph: "Give me one reason why I should not?"

Eliza: "Cause I'm hot?"

Ralph: "Miss-!"

Eliza: "Hey, what crazy kid are you? Do you know what will happen if they find me?"

Ralph: "It's a cruel world."

Eliza: "I just decided, I don't like you."

Ralph: "I just decided, I don't care, now show us how to fly!"

Ralph starts to have a sinking feeling about Eliza.

Ralph: "I thought you were going to teach us how to fly?"

Eliza: "That's what I'm doing isn't it?"

Ralph: "Really? I can't help the feeling we're going around in circles."

Sam and Eric, the local twins, laugh at their failed attempts.

Sam: "Boys of a mother, flop one another!"

Meanwhile, strange things are happening in the school. A truck delivers a huge crate.

Mr. Henry: "What's all this?"

Miss Higgensbottom: "This is our future, Mr. Henry. No more wasting time with petty grades and making miniscule test scores."

Mr. Henry: "No more teaching? But we've always been scholars, like my father and his father and all their fathers, they were-"

Miss Higgensbottom: "Poor! Worthless! Pansies! But that is about to change."

Miss Higgensbottom starts measuring the boys instead of counting their grades. Then the lunch meals are doubled, sending the boys into an eating frenzy. Finally, Ralph gets the picture. Miss Higgensbottom is fattening them up! Eliza comes up with a plan of her own. She decides that the boys need a little fun to cheer them up. By promising Sam and Eric the next grade she passes, Eliza cons the two sneaky twins into stealing a radio. But Sam and Eric will be waiting a long time for their payback – Eliza is not a student! Soon the boys are tapping their toes and moving to the music.

Jack: "Oh my goodness, what's happening?"

Eliza: "That's called a beat, brother! Feel it pulsin' through your body!"

Jack: "Yes, it does! Look, I'm going with it!"

Even Ralph takes a turn with Eliza on the dance floor. With all the flapping and twirling, Simon suddenly goes airborne!

Simon: "Did you see that? I flew!"

His flight only lasts a moment, but it renews the boys' hope. During all the commotion, Ralph notices that Eliza's arm is better. Now Eliza can demonstrate her flying technique.

Ralph: "That's fantastic! You can fly for us tomorrow!"

Eliza: "Yeah, so it seems."

Simon: "I flew! I flew!"

Ralph: "I suppose I owe you an apology then."

Eliza is about to tell Ralph the truth about her flying skills when suddenly a deafening rumble is heard from the main office. Mr. Henry and Miss Higgensbottom have just turned own their new money-making investment – a food processor, for disobedient students.

Mr. Henry: "Oh, that's champion, that is. What is it?"

Miss Higgensbottom: "It's a food processor, you dickweed. Children go in, wafers come out."

Soon every store in the country will be stocked with Miss Higgenbottom's Homemade Wafers. But first the machine must be tested.

Mr. Henry: "How does it work?"

Miss Higgensbottom: "Get me a child and I will show you."

Mr. Henry: "I know just the one."

Before he can break a leg, Ralph is snatched up, strapped onto a conveyor belt, and headed straight into the belly of the beast! Fearlessly, Eliza charges into the machine after him. Dodging mixed sauces and rotating saw blades, she finds Ralph, and they make their escape – but not before sabotaging the machine. Back in the dormitory, Ralph tells the boys about the terrible wafer-making food processor. The boys start to panic.

Jack: "Wafers made from us?!"

Ralph: "Yes, but-"

Simon: "I don't want to be a wafer! I don't like cookies."

Ralph: "Men, please, let's not lose our heads."

Jack: "Lose our heads?!"

But Ralph calms them down with the news that Eliza will show them how to fly tomorrow. Soon they'll be free! Later Ralph thanks Eliza for saving his life. Eliza tries once again to tell him her secret but she can't get the words out. The boys can't wait to see Eliza fly.

Ralph: "Well, today's the day, boys! We're going to fly! I can feel it!"

Jack: "Finally, we'll get to see a real professional in action."

Ralph: "Better start warming up, I'll go and get him."

But when Ralph goes to find Eliza the next morning, her bunk is empty. All that's left is the bottom half of Eliza's poster. It shows her being fired out of a missile launcher. Ralph realizes the truth. Eliza couldn't fly after all! His hopes dashed, he breaks the bad news to the boys.

Ralph: "Let's face it, the only way out of here is wrapped in pastry."

Without Ralph's dreams to guide them, the boys begin to squabble – and squabble turns into an all-out mud fight. As Roger steps in to break up the fight, Ralph realizes something. Roger and his dad were in the RAF – the Royal Air Force.

Roger: "We must stick together as a team, just like me and Dad in the RAF and that's how you get medals."

Filled with inspiration, Ralph devises a new plan. They'll build an airplane – just like the one Roger flew! With no time to lose, the boys get organized. Everyone lends a hand.

Ralph: "Piggy, you'll handle the engineering. Simon, thread and knitting. Roger will be chief aviation advisor. Jack, grades."

Eric: "Grades?"

Ralph: "Grades."

Eric: "Right, like the ones that girl was going to make. The problem is she's not a student."

Sam: "Is she?"

Eric: "No, it's a boy's school."

In exchange for grades from Jack, Sam and Eric help the boys steel tools right out under from Mr. Henry's nose. Seeing the boys so energized fills Ralph with pride. But it also makes him realize something. He misses Eliza. Meanwhile, out on her own, Eliza realizes something, too. Freedom can be a lonely road to follow. Spotting a huge billboard advertising Miss Higgensbottom's wafers, Eliza begins to question his decision to leave Ralph and the other boys in their time of need. Back in the dormitory, the boys freeze in fear as the repaired food processor roars to life again. When Mr. Henry comes to collect the boys, Ralph and the others swoop down and overpower him.

Ralph: "Attack!"

They truss him up like a stuffed bird and wheel the flying machine out onto a runway lit by a string of Christmas lights. The time has come to make their escape! But there's just one problem: Roger has never flown a plane before!

Roger: "12th Squadron, Juvenile Division. We were the cadet mascots."

Ralph: "You mean you've never actually flew the plane?"

Roger: "Good heavens, no! I'm a kid. The Royal Air Force don't let children fly the controls of complex aircraft."

He was a cadet in the RAF - only his dad was the pilot. Ralph convinces him to take the controls. As the plane approaches the takeoff ramp, Mr. Henry jumps up and kicks it over. Then Miss Higgensbottom appears and looms over Ralph with a spear. But before she can strike, a loud noise distracts her. It's Eliza! Riding a bicycle! She speeds downhill, sails over the fence, and knocks Miss Higgensbottom to the ground. Ralph and Eliza quickly put the ramp in place and the plane takes off trailing the decoration lights behind it. Ralph and Eliza grab hold of the lights and climb aboard. Happy to have her back, he leans over and gives her a kiss. As he does, the plane jolts. Miss Higgensbottom has grabbed hold of the lights. Ralph leans out to cut the string of lights, and before he knows it, he and Miss Higgensbottom are dangling behind the plane. As Ralph tries to cut Miss Higgensbottom off, she's hit in the face with something. It's a rock!

Eliza: "Fire! Fire!"

Eliza is attacking Miss Higgensbottom with the help of Sam and Eric. But they don't have enough rocks! Miss Higgensbottom swings the spear at Ralph. Just in time, Ralph ducks. The spear slices through the string of lights, sending Miss Higgensbottom tumbling down – through the roof of the main office and into the food processor. The plane soars up and away from the barn. Meanwhile, Miss Higgensbottom tries to escape the food machine. But before Mr. Henry can free her, the machine explodes! Miss Higgensbottom is swept up in a flood of juice – unharmed, yet unhappy.

Mr. Henry: "I told you they were organized."

Miss Higgensbottom: "ooooooooherrrrrRRRR!"

Her food processor is ruined, her dreams have been dashed, and her students are gone. And yes, Eliza, Ralph and the other finally make it to freedom on a private island. Proving once and for all that a little luck and a lot of pluck go a long way.

**Author's Notes: **

**I made this fanfic as a response to Jaden Smith's anti education rant as well as derogatory portrayal of school from the lives of it's students using the cast of William Golding's Lord of the Flies (imagine the 1963 cast for visualization), with the condensed plot of **_**Chicken Run **_**from the DVD's storybook feature. I am sure you will know the references I made in this story?**

**LOTF Cast:**

**Ralph as Ginger**

**Jack Merridew as Bunty**

**Simon as Babs**

**Piggy as Mac**

**Roger as Fowler**

**Sam and Eric as Nick and Fetcher**

**Other characters:**

**Miss Higgensbottom (My Fair Madeline) as Mrs. Tweedy**

**Mr. Henry (also from My Fair Madeline) as Mr. Tweedy**

**Eliza Thornberry (The Wild Thornberrys) as Rocky**

**Here is the link to the original story: watch?v=5fJxG7PsTUg**

**I hope you enjoyed it!**


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